Matt Dubya from SMPR -First Day of Class

‘Tis be the dawn of comedy medical school. Schoolero numero uno. Heheh that sounds like that trivia guy on my phone. Y’know who, what’s his name… The one with the face…and the teeth! Heh, I can’t stand him.

This morning walk is far too pleasant. I mean, look up! Blue sky and clouds. Look down! Dirt and inedible worms. Where is the conflict? The danger? The –UH OH! FEMALES!!!

Nobody informed me there are girls at colleges! Oh but do I call them girls or women? Do I bow and let them pass or is that way too creepy? I’ll just act like a statue as they walk by.

I think that went well. Ok I take it all back! I like having no conflict! I just want to go to class, learn some good stuff, and go back to my dorm and watch anime. Nice and straightforward. Besides, I heard lots of comedy medicine involves using the KISS method – ‘keep it simple, stOOpid!’ That means I can’t overthink anything! Ever! I probably shouldn’t even think ever!

I feel so nervous now! How did I decide I wanted to be a Comedy Doctor again? I mean sure I like helping people through laughter, but who doesn’t? I remember during my interview here at MMUCMS I actually tickled the interviewer until they granted my acceptance. I figured they were laughing, so that meant I was funny! I stopped when they told me I was actually torturing them, but only after I got my acceptance letter signed and dated. Hah!

Ok self-assurance reobtained. Let’s do this!

Deck Building Tips

Geez, the animator is writing my text again! Ew he’s being so self-aware. This is why he’s such a nerd. But he drew me, so I can’t complain. Looks like, by the title of this one, he wants me to talk to you guys about Deck Building. I’m going to be a little defiant though, and talk about something a little different… Building a Team! What do you mean that’s basically the same thing?


Okay so when you’re building a team in this game, it’s very important to know something. You basically don’t choose the cards. The cards choose you (yes that does sound like an old ancient proverb). ANYWAY, when you first pick up the starter pack you get a bunch of cards. You’ll get rare cards, normal cards, and items!


If you’re lucky to get the rare card of me…. Or any card that has to do with me, instantly add me to your team. I’m awesome and everyone loves me. I swear I do good attacks, and I’m also super handsome in my cop outfit. There is also a cool card with me and Frank. That one isn’t as good, because it has Frank on it.


SO! You have your items, you have your characters, where do you start? So if you’re playing against someone for Glory, as stated in the manual, you’re going to want the best possible grouping ever. It may take some practice for you to find out which cards work best together, but let me give you a few heads up.


When you’re going against friends who know the good cards, sometimes it’s a good idea to put some weaker cards that still do damage as your front lines. This is more of a mind game to your friend, making them keep their focus on the stronger cards in the field. Have at least one weaker character with a lot of health in your hand/deck if you’re working with more than two cards. Sometimes it pays off to be sneaky! Keep that in mind.

Healers are also good to have in your hand or deck. If you can find a card to absorb health it’s good to save that card for later. This way when everyone is struggling to keep their characters alive, provided they are ending with weaker cards, you’ll be taking health and slowly draining the competition.


Instant card kills are recognizable! So be careful. Be very very careful! If you’ve used an instant kill card on your friend multiple times on your friends, the second they see their (probably Truman’s) face that dog is going to get massacred. If you’re trying to go strong, or are playing a game with less cards, it may be a better time to do that. REMEMBER, IF YOU REVIVE ONE OF THESE GUYS, THEY GET TO KILL AGAIN! They are crazy.


Strangely enough it’s also good to have area of effect cards. Even if they do damage to your own card, they can have a mean pickup game! When you’re playing against the last few cards, this can easily wipe out the remaining cards. Use it early, and its guaranteed people will get annoyed and pick a fight with you quicker.  


Building a deck takes a lot of patience, and it’s usually better if you know how your friend plays. If you can watch them play a game or two, and see their strategy, it’ll be easier to plan against them. See they use a lot of instant kills? Stack your deck with reroutes. See they have characters with a lot of health? Pick characters that do a lot of damage. Keep your eyes open and try to always know what’s going on. Build a deck that you know will work, characters that have a good dynamic and work well with each other. Like me and any good looking girl card in the game. Please put me in a team with Sissy…


PRO TIP: If you have an item that allows you attack twice, and you have someone who can double a reroute, you can flip for the reroute… and then attack him with your other card. This will allow you to spread your attack, increase its power, and send it out to other players.


I’m done? Oh good! I’m going to try and star in my own social media comic. I’ll see you all later!

Matt Dubya meets Snips from Beyond Average

Dear Journal,

            Today I went to get a haircut and had a really…  Well… Quirky hairdresser, to say the least…

            The fellow went by the name of “Snips,” I asked him if that was his first name or last name, to which he mentioned that was his “only name.”  After our strange introduction, I proceeded to do what every normal customer getting a haircut does: never talks, always looks down, and prays for the session to be over as soon as possible.

            Snips eyes appeared as though they were bugging out of his head, and his fashion was well…  Let’s just say it didn’t leave much to the imagination since his torso was pretty, and that’s an understatement, bare…  It reminds me of an indie holiday movie from a long time ago for some strange reason… Anyway, as Snips continued being like a meat man and butchering my hair, I noticed he used two scissors and was not holding any hair with his visible fingers like most hair stylists and barbers do.  “It looks like you’re having trouble evening out my lopsided head, maybe you should try using one scissor and your delicate, albino looking hands you got there…” I suggested nicely, to which Snips stated delicately, “I have no hands, only scissors…”

            After my head was finished being mangled, I thanked Snips for the “unique” hairdo.  He bowed, and then stuck out his hand for a tip. Whoever let this one out of the loony bin is totally a few noodles short of a pasta salad themselves!